How Oswestry got its name


Back in the 15th century the Romans were fighting the Greeks along the North Wales border. One crisp, winter morning the commander in cheif of the Welsh division of the 4th Garrison Roman Celtic Guards, Jayden Oz, left his tent for his ablutions.

Whilst struggling with a bicycle pump in the shower (according to witnesses, this is what they heard), Jayden's attention was brought to an ear-splintering focus by the call of the emergency siren. He gathered his things and dressed for battle as he staggered across the camp. Following this there was an almighty battle, raging for 2 days, 6 minutes in which every last one of Jayden's men were slaughtered, Jayden himself being strung up like a cock.  During the battle however, a cheeky squirrel nipped into the shower cubical and ran off with Jayden's vest which he had left behind in the rush. The squirrel longed for a vest of such quality to line her nest which to this point was made from inferior, peasant jumpers.

And there you have it. The nest disintegrated over time but the tree will always be remembered as "Oz vest tree" even if it was later changed by the Normans to sound less Saxon.